Well it’s been a bit since I stopped in to chat. I’ve been kinda busy trying not to die. I began my immunotherapy treatments at the end of December. I go every three weeks and get an infusion of a drug and then every day I take another drug. One of these drugs seeks out the rogue cancer cells running around and kills them. The other drug shrinks the existing tumors. Don’t ask me which one does what!

All was going along smoothly until about the end of January when some side effects started to show up. It was gradual at first but then WHAM! The first noticeable thing was fatigue. Suddenly I had no energy or ambition to do anything. I could nap for hours and still sleep all night. I could not go to the pool. Then the mouth issue happened. My mouth became so sore that I could barely eat or drink anything. Anything that was hot or very cold would burn. Anything carbonated would be excruciating. I had to change from anything minty for toothpaste to kids strawberry flavored toothpaste. And food that was crispy or had sharp crunchy things was a big no. Ice cream was actually too cold. My morning coffee had to be lukewarm, same with soup. I had great ideas for things to make but I had zero ambition or energy to actually make things. I also developed a sinus thing that was so nasty. Picture your worst sinus infection and there is nothing you can do about it. And dry mouth. That’s just a bonus.

The doctors had to lower the dose of the daily drug to try and ease some of these effects. It has taken time but some things are better. And when I say better, please think small increments. But I’ll take it for now.

It is not like me to be so defeated but honestly, this shit beats you up. I don’t really intend to die but also, there are moments when I fear that could happen with this. I think that makes me normal. I also think this nasty cold and snowy winter has not helped my mindset. Although there was a day last week when it was warm (32*) and sunny and I sat on my back porch, in the sun wearing just my shorts and t-shirt…and it was glorious. I have enjoyed the Olympics and my obsession with The Pitt. I have two more infusions scheduled for March and and MRI and CT scan to check my progress. I remain hopeful these scans will show what we need them to show so that surgery can happen soon. I have places to be in the late Spring and Summer so let’s all keep a good thought and make that happen!

Until then, I want everyone to know that I feel your love and good thoughts for me. I am so incredibly blessed with family, chosen family and the best of friends. It makes getting through this a lot easier knowing you are all there. Thank you.